Things I Learned in College | Never Be Afraid to Ask for Help

If you are an avid reader of my blog, you will know that I have posted a lot about various struggles that I have been through. The main struggle I seem to face is finding balance. Believe it or not, I did not always take to my blog to vent about my issues. I know it probably seems it at this stage, seeing as there are so many posts on here about it, buuuut I got help the old-fashioned way, I went to counselling. I availed of the on-campus counselling service and I could not recommend it highly enough.

"to have those conversations with someone who asks the relevant questions, and helps you think through your predicament in a way you may not have considered before"

I am definitely someone who processes things through conversation, and to have those conversations with someone who asks the relevant questions, and helps you think through your predicament in a way you may not have considered before, is seriously mind-blowing at times. I know that sounds dramatic but I really benefited from the sessions in a way I never thought possible. Sometimes when you are so stuck in a rut, you never think you will get out. Counselling helped me see a way out. 

This image is not my own - if source is known please notify me so I can credit them accordingly!

"I honestly questioned whether or not I should be studying an English degree so many times. I thought I was being totally naive"

I felt I was stuck in this rut in terms of my essay-writing skills too. I honestly questioned whether or not I should be studying an English degree so many times. I thought I was being totally naive thinking that I would be able to keep up with the reading, never mind the calibre of writing. I really didn't think I could improve at all, because I went to all of my feedback sessions, and engaged a lot in classes, but still didn't get the results I thought I deserved. It was so unbelievably frustrating.

"I really didn't think I could improve at all, because I went to all of my feedback sessions, and engaged a lot in classes, but still didn't get the results I thought I deserved. It was so unbelievably frustrating."

I went to my tutors and lecturers who gave me lower marks than I had expected, but I also emailed the English department for help. Lecturers, department heads, tutors etc., are all there to help you. That's part of their job. Believe it or not, a lot of them are happy to help too! I was put in touch with one of the most admirable lecturers I know in the college, Sinéad Kennedy, and my first brief meeting with her was incredibly intimidating and left me feeling stupid, and unwilling to return to her. I was going to give up and just suffer the grades, but I stood my ground. I am in college for a reason. I want to succeed. I need help. I am gonna get it, and I got it. It was by far the best decision I made all throughout my college career.

"I need help. I am gonna get it"

Not only did I meet with this lecturer, and on multiple occasions, I also took advantage of my very intelligent and willing friends. My friend Claire is used to reading through people's work because she was a peer tutor, but I wasn't paying her and this was her free time, so I was extremely thankful. Claire told me all about how she would never hand up a piece of writing for correction without having someone else look at it first. I have since adopted that mentality and never looked back.

"I have been studying this topic for weeks and researching it for days on end, writing, re-writing and drafting the thing to death."

When I am writing up an essay or assignment, I have been studying this topic for weeks and researching it for days on end, writing, re-writing and drafting the thing to death. Eventually, when I feel like all is said and done, I re-read it for any corrections, and I end up just glazing over it, thankful that the damn thing is finished. The trouble here is, I have been working on it so long and so hard that I am blind to the fact that I have missed some punctuation, grammar marks, spellings, or even making a point which does not explicitly explain the context to the reader, thus voiding my argument completely. The reader/marker of your essay is going to correct it as if they have never read the text you are critiquing before. I find this so hard to remember when I am writing an essay, I feel like screaming at the marker, 'YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!'. Essay writing is a curated pursuit that requires a lot of skill and patience in order to present your information in the correct way.

"I was writing up a thesis proposal for Anthropology. Boy, did I hit panic stations."

Another time when started to doubt my skills and my assignment, was during the second semester of second year, when I was writing up a thesis proposal for Anthropology. Boy, did I hit panic stations. I didn't know if I wanted to do a thesis, but my proposal had to be in in a week. I had previously written up a mock proposal for an assignment, but had no idea if I wanted to pursue it for my third year thesis. I did what I know best, and I panic-emailed my tutor, and he got back to me almost immediately, urging me to stop introducing myself (I do it every time I email someone), that he remembered me, and would help me out however he could. Shout-out to Alex. Life-saver. I rushed over to his office, plonked down in his chair and had it out with him. He responded to my cry for help, and aided me through the process, advising me in whatever way he could, and set my mind at ease. Lecturers. Are. There. To. Help. If you need them, go get 'em. You're not expected to do all on your own. Reach out, email, ring, speak to them in person, grab them after class, lecturers save you, and even help you get extensions if needs be! Do not suffer in silence!

"Do not ask, and you will not receive."

Ahh, extensions. They don't exist in the English department, or at least not for 95% of the students. Anthropology on the other hand, are absolute angels for the most part. If you are seriously struggling with an assignment or essay, all you have to do is email your lecturer or the department office and tell them what's going on. Now, I have only ever asked for an extension about three times, but I got it each time. There was a time, during the end of second year stress of about 12,000 words to submit, where I had neglected a couple of my essays and it came back to bite me. If I had been in a better mindset, I would have tackled it head-on, but I wasn't. I was panicked, anxious 24/7, and seriously down and out about it all. I don't do anything half-assed, like I always tell you guys, so I was petrified at the idea of handing up something that was not my best work. I have done so before, and I still regret it now. I just know how much I am worth, and if I can get an extended amount of time to show just that, then all I can do is ask. Do not ask, and you will not receive.

" Those sites just don't cut it anymore."

So this is something that seems painfully obvious, but can sometimes get washed away in the land of SparkNotes, Shmoop, Gradesaver, etc., etc. You know what I'm talking about here. Reading the text. All my fellow English students out there, do you read your texts? Or do you read every summary and analysis ever online, and incorporate critics into the arguments that you found online? This is actually fine if you are really stuck, but to be honest, it will not get you very good marks, so I would only recommend it for first year! (Which only forms bad habits and sets your skill development back a lot). It was recommended to me to use these sites, because 'I really didn't have to read everything', which is true, you don't have to read everything. Over time I have really developed my study and analysis skills and learned the best way for me to succeed. Those sites just don't cut it anymore.

"So read the damn book and get some sources that your lecturer didn't give you and boom, original thought process which shows through your essay."

A friend of mine, Laura and I first sort-of 'bonded' over how easy the work is if you just do it. That sounds ridiculous but it's true. If you just read the text, and read some critics, it will all make sense and mesh together in your mind, and you will even make your own opinions on it, without having the wrack your brain for it. It is actually more work to try and piece together all of the information online into a somewhat succinct argument for an essay or exam. So read the damn book and get some sources that your lecturer didn't give you and boom, original thought process which shows through your essay. Can't articulate your idea? Get some help. Lecturers, tutors and even peer tutors are all on campus, or even just an email away. Help is there, you just gotta do some ground work and you will be flying it.

Later on in the college year I will have a blog post on my personal tips and tricks for study and essay writing more specifically. This post was long enough without all of that thrown in too! 

Thank you for reading!

Lots of love

xoxo